having a “smart"phone for me is just
*opens the clock app instead of the calculator app*
*opens the calculator instead of the clock*
*opens calendar instead of either of these*
If We Were Third Wheels.
Bonus:
Because I just had to.
More you might like
Its time.
Off to a good start
Hello i have a new favorite movie
The heavy metal guitar solo intro music just petered off into the jurassic park theme sjsnsjejwkms
Oh this man is a himbo. Excellent.
Wait is this man a priest or a pastor 🤔 if he's a priest then the title is false advertising
I'm speechless
[gun fire]
[raptor screeches]
She's talking abt how he turned into a dinosaur and ate the guy who was trying to rob her
"I don't believe you! Dinosaurs never existed, and even if they did, I didn't turn into one!"
Solidarity
Me: bro they better keep this shit platonic
[Carol and Priest looking at each other, smiling lightly after sharing an embrace, tension building]
Me: 😒
[Carol and Priest share a massive high five]
Me: oh??? 😏😌
He's literally reading a book called Crime
Velocifather: father stewart, what if i told you i was...different
Father Stewart: you're not THAT different. they're are plenty of people like that in the church
Bro i can't even describe this vietnam war flashback.....there's 5 guys in jeans and thrifted military jackets in what is clearly someone's backyard......a bloody helmet on a garden fence is meant to symbolize how many brothers in arms they've lost.....they just stuck a blond wig on the old priest to show how young he was back then.......his gf just showed up and stepped on a land mine and died....which is why he joined the priesthood...the editing feels like a fever dream
How can you talk about this movie without showing the fucking dinosaur
NINJAS?!
That moment in If We Were Villains when they’re playing Romeo and Juliet and Oliver is desperate to keep James’s attention that he gets so caught up he skips some lines and says “Be ruled by me. Forget to think of her” while staring deep into his eyes and they’re both caught off guard reblog if you agree
Have fun in the war dumbass I’ll be at home fucking military wives
Damn. Good way to get your fucking windows kicked in
shut the fuck up and raise my son bootlicker
All fun and games until someone with 3 confirmed kills shows up at your doorstep with a baseball bat
im not at my house tho, im at yours with your wife
But he’s got shooters all over the world 🌎 even when he’s away
just shot a load in his wife
You ungrateful asshole. My bf might be fighting for your freedom and you’re here mocking him for keeping your pathetic ass safe from the threats of the world. If a war comes to our country, we’re not saving you, you dumbass ungrateful fuck up of a human being.
Your bf is fighting for oil and killing civilians and probably cheating on you he’s a scumbag, which is why I just fucked his mom to make a better son
The fool taunts the hungry dogs but the dogs have their day and the fool becomes a feast
your girl boutta be the feast soon as you get deployed boot boy
World Heritage Post
Who ever was the first person to post this is the biggest piece of shit in the world. You’re an amoral ASSHOLE!!!!!
Hotmeat89 you are a disgrace you don’t deserve to be called an American! You don’t even have the right to call yourself a MAN!
I don’t call myself a man but your wife still calls me to fuck
I’m pretty sure that as far as “infuriating helmets you’d hate to see before you get stabbed” go, this one is definitely up there
Up there, yes, but is it really quite all the way at the top?
why the fuck weren’t any of these in dark souls
I love that some of these are clearly the medieval equivalent of “u mad bro?”